Throw the Dice
by Le Soleil Avant Le Crepuscule
Summary: The pilgrimage is over, Spira is celebrating, and Rikku is sitting on a beach writing letters. Aurikku, hints of one-sided Tikku. Full chapter finally posted.


AN: I know, this took forever. I got stuck on parts of this chapter. Truth be told, I'm not entirely happy with it, but I figured enough was enough. So, sorry to keep you waiting, but here it is. Behold, the first chapter.

Disclaimer: Do not own. Really, do you expect anything else? I don't even own this game, just rent it obsessively until I can find a copy.

**Throw the Dice**

Chapter One

"_It's been less than a week since we defeated Sin, but so much has happened. For starters, everybody wanted to thank Yuna for saving the world, so Pops took us all around Spira in his airship. Only we didn't make everywhere, 'cause after about three days we got a commsphere message from Wakka -he'd stayed behind in Besaid to train with the Aurochs- saying that they'd found Tidus on the beach, looking pretty confused about how he got there. Of course, then Yunie had to rush back to Besaid to see him. That was two days ago, and the celebration of Tidus' homecoming is still going on. After the first night of partying, I've kinda been keeping away. Shocking as it may seem, I'm not really in the mood to celebrate. I just can't get over the fact that no one else seems to notice that we're one Guardian short. Sure, Tidus came back, but he's not the only one who disappeared... I know you wouldn't want me to, but I've been kinda down lately because you're not here, and-"_

Tidus appeared suddenly at Rikku's elbow, interrupting her writing.

"Hey Rikku! What are you doing?"

Rikku squeaked, and hastily hid the letter in one of her pouches. "Er, nothing! What are you doing here?"

If Tidus noticed her jumpiness, he made no comment.

"Well, seeing as I haven't seen you since that first night, I decided to track you down. Why aren't you at the party?" he asked, curiosity evident in his voice.

"I could ask the same of you. Shouldn't you be with Yunie?" Rikku replied scornfully.

Tidus got a strange look on his face for a second -so brief that Rikku almost missed it-, and then shrugged.

"I had to be sure that you weren't eaten by a flan or something, 'cause the Rikku I knew would have been back there chattering her head off and dancing like crazy."

Tidus grinned at her. Rikku turned her head away and replied quietly, more to the sky and sea in front of her than to Tidus.

"Well, maybe you weren't the only one to leave. And maybe some of us changed. Why do you care, anyway?"

Rikku scowled at Tidus, and his grin faded. He looked at Rikku with concern.

"Alright, now I _know_ there's something wrong. Want to tell me about it?"

Rikku chewed her lip, silently debating with herself. Finally, she blurted out, "How come you're back?"

Tidus looked a bit hurt at this, and she immediately wished she hadn't said it.

"You don't want me back?" Tidus asked.

"No, no, that's not what I meant! It's just… Why are you back, but not…" she paused, not wanting to finish, but he was looking at her suspiciously.

"But not… Other people," she finished lamely, aware that Tidus would likely figure out who she meant, and probably take it the wrong way.

_`As if there's a right way for him to take it.' _ Rikku thought sarcastically.

She knew she could trust Tidus not to tell anyone -they had become pretty good friends during the pilgrimage, and friends don't tell each other's secrets-, but she wasn't sure about how he'd react if he knew the whole truth.

Luckily, Tidus merely raised an eyebrow at her, and replied in a somewhat smug tone of voice.

"You mean, why didn't a certain unsent guardian come back as well?"

Rikku blushed, but said nothing. Tidus looked at her quizzically for a moment, and then turned thoughtful.

"Honestly? I have no idea why I came back when no one else did…"

Now it was Tidus' turn to get a far away look.

"If anyone deserved to be brought back, it would have been Auron. You don't know how surprised I was when I found out that he wasn't here as well. But the Fayth must have their reasons…"

Rikku just nodded, not trusting herself to speak as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Sorry I couldn't be much help. I miss him too. He was like a father to me, you know…"

Then, just as suddenly as he had turned serious, Tidus' mood brightened again.

"Well, I should be getting back to the party. You going to come?"

Rikku shook her head, both to decline his invitation, and to clear the tears from her eyes. Tidus turned to leave, and then turned back again.

"Before I forget, I brought this for you."

He rummaged around in his pocket before pulling out something wrapped in a napkin, which he tossed to Rikku, who caught it automatically.

"I grabbed you some food from the party. They tell me you haven't been showing up for meals lately..." He looked at her in askance, and she nodded sheepishly. He shook his head. "You really need to take better care of yourself. Starving yourself to death won't bring him back, you know?"

Without waiting for her to answer, Tidus leapt up onto the bank and disappeared out of sight, leaving Rikku alone on the beach holding the packet of food.

Days passed, and a routine formed. Rikku would spend the morning with the rest of Yuna's guardians, trying to be social. But, as soon as lunch was through, she would disappear back to the beach, where she would remain until long past dark. Tidus would usually show up around sunset with some food, and would often stay and talk with her for hours before returning to the village. In truth, if it hadn't been for Tidus' visits, Rikku's absence would likely have gone unnoticed among all the celebrations going on at the time. But once it was noticed, in combination with her profoundly changed demeanour, rumours began to spread. Some thought that she'd simply changed during the pilgrimage, and after all, hadn't Tidus been her best friend before? Others, however, believed that Rikku was having an affair with Tidus, but she was sulking because he still spent a great deal of time with Yuna. It wasn't long before the popularity of the latter idea became so widespread and accepted that there was hardly a soul on the island who believed otherwise, despite the constant denials from Rikku and Tidus both.

"_...I know you wouldn't want me to, but I've been kinda down lately because you're not here. I've been avoiding everyone because I don't want to talk about it. I know it sounds sort of silly, but I don't want them to know how much it really bothers me. _

_Except now I almost wish I had told them, because ever since Tidus found me that time on the beach a couple weeks ago, there have been all sorts of crazy rumours going around on the island. I can't believe it, but even Wakka and Yuna seem to think I'm having some sort of affair with Tidus! _

_I'm not, of course. He's like a brother to me, and all we ever do is talk when we're together… Actually, it's usually you that we talk about, or at least about why you're not here. We both think that if anyone deserved to be brought back, it would have been you. I'm pretty sure he suspects that there was something between us, but he hasn't made a big deal of it. I think he misses you almost as much as I do, really._

_Anyway, it's been three weeks now since we defeated Sin, and it feels strange to not be doing anything. I don't think we ever really had a break during the pilgrimage. I know we stopped sometimes, but it didn't feel much like a break, because it was just prolonging what we all thought was going to be Yunie's death._

_Oh, Yunie… _

_I haven't seen much of her lately, because she believes the rumours and won't talk to me anymore. I wish she would believe me, 'cause after all we went through together -after all I did to try to save her- she should __know__ that I would never do anything that would hurt her! _

_I've been trying not to let it bother me, and I've been trying to act my normal self so that people don't have a reason to start more rumours. I've been kinda sick lately, though, which hasn't helped. Nothing serious, just a little tired, queasy, and achy – like the flu, or something. The only thing is, it hasn't gone away yet, and it's been a couple of weeks now. I'm going to see Lu about it tomorrow; she's the only one that I think believes Tidus and me, so she won't be weird about seeing me. Not like Yuna would be, anyway…"_

The next day dawned bright on Besaid, illuminating the cluster of brightly coloured tents surrounding the temple. Rikku might have appreciated the effect -that is, if she hadn't been so busy avoiding the glares she was receiving while she made her way to Lulu's tent.

'_Geeze, it's like the whole island's heard the rumours. Why won't they mind their own business? Or, better yet, why won't they believe me that there's __**nothing going on**__?'_ Rikku thought bitterly, dodging yet another group of gossiping elderly ladies.

She reached Lulu's tent, and ducked gratefully under the flap and away from the accusatory stares. In truth, she was happy to have an excuse to visit Lu, who she hadn't seen much of since the pilgrimage.

"Hey Lu. Mind if I come in?" Rikku chirped as she entered, actually feeling cheerful, which vaguely surprised her. Something about being around Lulu made her feel comfortable and safe, and she hadn't felt that in a while.

Lulu had her back to the entrance, busy stirring something in a pot, but she heard Rikku come in. She turned, smiling, to greet the visitor.

"It's good to see you, Rikku. Come in and have a seat, I was just making some tea."

Rikku took a seat at the table, gratefully accepting the steaming mug when Lulu set it in front of her. The tea smelled wonderful, like spice and cactus fruit, but Rikku couldn't bring herself to drink it. Instead, she wrapped her hands around the mug, warming them. Lulu noticed this, but said nothing - she already had her suspicions about Rikku's reason for visiting, having observed her closely for the past few weeks, but decided to let Rikku explain it for herself.

"While a visit is always welcome, something tells me there is more to your coming than just seeking my company." Lulu said finally, watching Rikku with amusement.

"Well, um, there is something… You see, I was kinda hoping you could give me some advice…" Rikku flushed a little with embarrassment, and proceeded to explain to Lulu about her suspected 'stomach flu', and how she was starting to get worried about how long it was lasting. Lulu listened quietly, a knowing look in her eye. When Rikku finished, she nodded, then said simply,

"I'm no healer, Rikku, but I do not think it is the flu. Perhaps you should go to Luca, and visit a healer there. I'm sure they would be more able to help you than I would."

Rikku, though a bit put off by the vague answer, agreed that she should go to Luca the following day. Neither of them mentioned Yuna, despite her being Besaid's resident healer, for which Rikku was grateful. She couldn't face Yuna; not knowing that even her cousin thought she was having an affair with Tidus. '_Besides_,' Rikku decided, '_it would be nice to get away from the island for a few days._'

"Deciding to go is all well and good, but how am I supposed to actually **get** to Luca?" Rikku groaned to herself, once back in the privacy of her tent. She had already ruled out the ferry as being too full of nosy islanders, and Pops' airship was to be considered only as a last resort.

"I can't very well swim there, can I?" She flopped onto her bed, glancing around the room for ideas. Her eyes settled on an old sphere she had been watching the other day. The footage was from the salvage ship, when Rikku and her brother first found Tidus. She'd shut the sphere off soon after Tidus began to talk about Zanarkand, because she couldn't deal with the memories it brought to the surface.

This time, however, Rikku was reminded of the last time she'd spoken to Brother. He had been going on about this ship that he and Buddy had found at the bottom of a lake during a salvage mission, and had decided to dredge up. Last she'd heard, they'd managed to get the old ship flying. Even Pops had grudgingly admitted it was in good working order. In any other circumstances, she still might not have trusted the ship, Cid's approval aside. `_But desperate times call for desperate measures… And I __**really**__ need to get off this island for a while._' Rikku thought to herself. She reached for the commsphere Shinra had given her, dreading the conversation she was about to have. Luckily, or perhaps not, it was her Brother that picked up the sphere.

"((Rikku! Is that you?!))" Brother screeched into the sphere, far louder than was necessary.

"((Of course it's me, stupid. Who else would be calling you?))" Rikku rolled her eyes, already regretting her decision. Brother had yet to fully understand how to work a commsphere.

"((What? What do you want?))" That he had just been insulted seemed to have escaped him. Rikku wasn't surprised.  
"((I want to know more about this airship of yours, that's what. Got that hunk of junk off the ground and working yet?))"

"((What are you saying? Of course it works! I fixed it myself!))"

"((Well then, you won't mind taking me to Luca tomorrow morning.))" '_It was almost too easy, really.'_ Brother grumbled a bit, but soon agreed. Probably because he hoped he could see Yuna while he was there. Rikku wasn't about to tell him otherwise.

_"I visited Lulu today, and she said I should go to a healer in Luca. I thought she was acting a little strange, like she wasn't telling me something, but I'm probably just being paranoid. It's not like I don't have reason to be, though, given what's been going on. At least she didn't tell me to go see Yuna instead…_

_Anyway, Brother's going to take me to Luca tomorrow on this new airship of his. It's a good thing he agreed. If he hadn't, I would have had to ask Pops, and Pops' airship reminds me too much of the pilgrimage… Which, of course, reminds me of you. I know what you'd say, and I'm trying not to let it get me down, but I can't help it. I really do miss you…"_

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AN: Review? You know the drill, people. Little button at the bottom of the page. Please click it and give me some feedback, it's the only way this will get better.


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